i don't know why, but there is just no mood to be happy and no mood for celebration. I find it kinda lame, usually i will yelp in joy whenever my exams are over. Not this time round. This post, is going to be full of my
RANTS!i was saddened.
much affected.
and
hurt.never have i heard about that before. i never knew that this kind of thing existed. Maybe i'm just too microscopic? But if so, it means the majority of the population are microscopic too isn't it? I can't accept for the very fact about what its being said. The frankness and all. I didn't mean to start a quarrel or even, whine about it. But i was just too shock! Way too shock that i didn't know how to react upon hearing it. What's with that no mood and all? What's with that getting the mood back? Its whole lot of crap and bullshit. It makes me no mood at the end of the day. On top of that, i already didn't have the mood. Blame it on
PMS if you want too, blame it on female's attitude and character. Blame it on my
temper too, for all you like. Cos i no longer care. And watch out for the words "
No longer". Because i mean it. I'm sick and tired for always having to
wait. Waiting is a torture. It makes people feel no sense of security, no one could see it coming. And this time round, that "no one" includes me too. I accepted for the very fact that i am a "no one", it takes me quite a long time to come out this decision that i am just a "no one" to you. Not anyone significant to change anything
at all. You can say for all you care and for all you like, cos i can listen no further. I maybe for the very fact that i am hot-tempered and stuffs, irrational at times. But this time, i know my actions. I know what i have said. I've realised it okay. I'm not being irrational now. Its just the things that i wanna let it out.
Things that i have bottled up since ages ago. So tell me now, am i microscopic? Or isit just you that is "abnormal", like what you have said? I wished that i've seen the wrong stuffs, that my eyes are playing tricks on me. But i blinked many times, and came to the realisation that its true. YOU, may think that it is nothing. But its not. YOU may think that i'm just blowing matters up, but let me tell you this,
AND LISTEN TO THIS VERY CAREFULLY. I'm not blowing things up. But least did you realise that what you have said is a very sensitive issue to many females out there. I don't see a point that no one can love what you have said. That thing, isn't it loveable? Seriously, it makes me feel as though i've made a mistake. Hello, can anyone out there just tell me what is wrong? Or is it that you have been kept in a cage too long that when your birdy mum starts opening the cage for you, and you just want to hid inside? Is that so?
Huh? I ever dreamt of the beautiful, dreaming about it, wishing that it will one day come true. I've been dreaming that someone will just take up the things i've like, and together, we could "conquer the world". I've been dreaming that its
you. And maybe, i've been in this dream for too long, or afterall, this is only a
dream. A dream that will makes someone sleep forever and never wake up, and if he/she does, its waking up is just like taking his/her life away. And why you? out of everyone, why is it you, that had took my life away? That had make me come to my senses. Or should i put it in a way that, i've always been clear about it and you blurred it out? For many months, i've been "
dreaming" if that is how you think about it. I want someone who could do the things that i like,
together. And not just to do it for the sake of entertaining me. Hello, if i need entertainment, i can go to the movies. If i need entertainment, i can find a clown myself. I don't need you to be that irritating clown. I've told you so much about the plans, but least did i know, its just all "one-sided?" I'm sad. Very very sad. Cause now, i know if i believe everything you have said its true, i'm just like telling myself " Hey calla, give up your thoughts, cos its never going to come true. Its either you wake up from your own sweet dream, or...
GO BACK AND DREAM ABOUT YOUR SWEETEST DREAM" (take note that it will just be a dreammmmm.) I can never ever console myself like the way i do. Because, i will never knew when will that one day, that you have said, comes. And when it comes, how old will we be? Or will that day comes when both of us are already in heaven? Till then, i hope that i can have the courage to say goodbye to my shattered hope and dream.
And you, are my shattered hope and dream. Goodbye.